


Sometimes You Just Shouldn’t Ask

by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 17:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2515259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/HaleHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m cool with you guys hooking up and everything, I really am! I’m seriously happy if you’re happy! But I don’t want to hear you whine about not having a sex life! You’re like a brother to me!” He points at Stiles before jerking his thumb at Derek. “<i>He’s</i> like a sorta brother to me!”</p><p>The way Derek’s expression clears at the admission is a little heart breaking but Isaac can understand that. He smiles faintly at his Alpha, not bothering to hide it when Derek looks at him before he clears his throat. Scott finishes up by yelling, “It’s <i>traumatizing</i>!”<br/>--<br/>Where Scott and Isaac drag Stiles and Derek to Deaton because something wrong with the couple but they refuse to say what. Scott and Isaac are going to regret this...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes You Just Shouldn’t Ask

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this TFLN post](http://candypinkcocks.tumblr.com/post/57066392771/redglitterdick-chaoticwaltz-this-entirely), WHICH (lbr), could ACTUALLY happen cause _Stiles_.

"I fail to see why you need  _my_ help in the matter.” Deaton says in his usual calm tone, briefly glancing over at the sullen Derek and pouting Stiles.   
  


Scott is all but wringing his hands at the vet,  _this_  close to actually falling on his knees and  _begging_ for help. “ **Because**! These two won’t talk about what’s wrong! We’ve tried to get em to talk but they just  _won’t_.”  
  


"Maybe that’s because we don’t want to talk about it!" Derek snaps for what feels like the hundreth time. Isaac would roll his eyes were it not for the fact that Derek’s right across from him so he settles for twitching violently. Hey, he’s gotta show his reaction  _some_ way.  
  


Derek’s eyes immediately lock on his. Isaac gives the alpha his best innocent ‘yes?’ look. He gets a small narrowing of pale eyes before they shift back towards Stiles and then at the wall behind Isaac.  
  


He  _realllllly_ wishes that one of the two would crack already and spill  _what_ this latest fight between them as about. The sooner they know, the sooner they can figure out a solution (or recommend a couples therapist or something) and Isaac can go back to trying to finish Moby Dick for his Lit. class.  
  


Stiles doesn’t look anywhere  _near_ spilling and Derek just looks… pissed and sad at the same time. Isaac suspects that they’ll find out the truth soon enough. Very soon enough. Scott looks like he’s ready to wring someone’s neck and Deaton is politely confused. “Is it a private matter?” The vet asks, looking over at Stiles.  
  


The teenager immediately replies, “Obviously, yeah!”  
  


Scott now looks like he’s picked whose neck he wants to wring. Isaac silently prays for Stiles’ health and well being. It was nice knowing him. Well. Not really. But it's that what you're supposed to say right? “If it’s a private problem then  _stop_ bringing your baggage with you, dude! I’m getting tired of listening to you rail against Derek!” Scott argues.  
  


"That’s true." Isaac pipes in because hey, that’s the way the cards fall. Stiles looks offended and sulky at the same time before he crosses his arms and settles for looking peeved. Derek meanwhile looks affronted at the idea that Stiles has been complaining about him behind his back.   
  


His words seem to push Scott into ranting territory, complete with emphatic gestures. “I’m cool with you guys hooking up and everything, I really am! I’m seriously happy if you’re happy! But I  _don’t_ want to hear you whine about not having a sex life! You’re like a brother to me!” He points at Stiles before jerking his thumb at Derek. “ _He’s_ like a sorta brother to me!”  
  


The way Derek’s expression clears at the admission is a little heart breaking but Isaac can understand that. He smiles faintly at his Alpha, not bothering to hide it when Derek looks at him before he clears his throat. Scott finishes up by yelling, “It’s  _traumatizing_!”  
  


Isaac nods firmly when Stiles glances him, wordlessly checking if he’s in agreement with Scott or not. Isaac glares back because hell yes he agrees! There's only so much of an angry, mopey alpha he can put up with! Stiles looks sheepishly apologetic when he runs a hand through his hair and mumbles, “Sorry. I didn’t really think about that.”  
  


The way Derek rolls his eyes says pages worth of stuff. Isaac kind of wants to take a picture. While he’s pulling his cell phone out, Deaton asks, “If I may hazard a guess. Are you boys having trouble…  _performing_?”  
  


Isaac watches his phone slip out of his hands and clatter onto the floor. The horror that he feels is mirrored not only on Scott’s face but also on Derek and Stiles as the pair yells, “No!”  
  


"Then… what?" Scott asks weakly in a way that says that he doesn’t want to know but is gonna take one for the team and ask anyways. Isaac feels the urge to stand up and salute him. A sad trumpet play somewhere in the back of his brain.  
  


It’s Derek’s turn to look sullen while Stiles blushes and looks away, two seconds away from whistling innocently. Isaac meets Scott’s gaze before scrubbing a hand over his hands and sighing.   
  


They’re going to be here  _forever_ , Isaac thinks morosely to himself. Isaac keeps his palm over his eyes, mourning the fact that he’s probably going to miss the new episode of Breaking Bad at this rate, when Derek suddenly grunts out, “Stiles can’t be serious, not even in bed.”  
  


Dropping his hand, Isaac stares incredulously at Derek. Then Stiles. Then Scott. And then prays for deliverance. There’s some things he just  _doesn’t_ want to know about his friends, okay? “Dare I ask?” Deaton asks in a tone that’s drier than the sand in the Sahara.  
  


The look Derek directs at Stiles is just shy of murderously sad. It’s all in the eyebrows. But strangely enough? Stiles is starting to look a little smug and a little mortified, like he can’t make up his mind how to feel about… whatever it is that Derek’s talking about.  
  


Scott looks confused as ever, glancing between Stiles and Derek. The werewolf sighs, uncrossing his arms before he shifts his gaze to the windows on the right. He addresses them when he grumbles, “When our dicks touched, he made a lightsaber noise.”  
  


Isaac is 99% certain that his eyebrows have just shot off his head and hit the ceiling. He glances over at Scott, eyes wide open. The other teenager looks torn between gagging and laughing so the result is a strange croak that makes everyone give him a concerned look. Deaton looks surprised for the first time  _ever_.  
  


And Stiles? Looks smug as  _fuck_. Isaac can easily imagine Stiles doin- oh  _fuck_. Isaac groans and smacks his hand over his eyes again, loudly declaring, “I don’t need to know about your weird nerdy sex fantasies, okay?” And walks out because nope, just no. He draws the line on this.  
  


"This is the last time I’m getting in the middle of you guys and your weird fights!" Isaac adds for good measure as he walks out of the room.  
  


Scott makes the strangled noise again while Derek  _loudly_ declares, “I  _told you_ that it’s a private problem.”


End file.
